I know I am blowing this beyond it's proper portions, but I don't care because it's this, along with other things, that continue to make me feel inadequate.

"***** thinks you need more projects," my boss says.

"What?? I work!" I reply. And I have been. I've been working really hard. Sure I play sometimes but it cannot go unnoticed that my work ethic has improved.

"I know, but that's just *****."

Fuck me. So now, along with catering duties, here are things I must now work on: creating a nutritional guide for EVERYTHING on our menu, learning the embroidery machine, and gathering tax forms. I will also not get my hour and a half back, and I have to do a lot of this while doing my regular work. All because he wants to save a few bucks.

It's not just that. I work, and I don't need to prove it. But along with the feelings that I am a crappy future daughter-in-law, a needy girlfriend, and a pathetic person, this....does not help.

I'm being better at not feeling depressed and hating myself, I really am, but things keep weighing me down. I don't want my boyfriend to move into his mother's. I will not go over there. Making me a bad girlfriend and daughter-in-law. I just miss him so much. I feel like I don't see him as much anymore. I just need to live with him. That's all I need.

I would just like to know what little decision I could make that will make everything better.

Did I mention I will not get a pay raise?